[chrysalis.activism] Book Group: Me and White Supremacy

Stacey Svetlichnaya stacey.svet at gmail.com
Mon Aug 24 14:06:58 CDT 2020


Thanks, yes! I really want to call in, will see how things are with parent
plans here.

On Mon, Aug 24, 2020, 10:03 AM David Ginsburg <dav9dg at gmail.com> wrote:

> Sounds good to me too 👍✨
>
> On Mon, Aug 24, 2020, 8:56 AM Christopher Lin <
> powertothepenguins at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Sounds good to me! Thanks for the forethought and the role recording.
>>
>> On Sun, Aug 23, 2020 at 8:48 PM Anna McFall <annasmcfall at gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Maybe for this Wednesday, if we meet, we can agree to finish both day 6
>>> and day 7 (week 1 review)? That will speed us up slightly but not add much
>>> extra work.
>>>
>>> 8/19 roles for the record:
>>> Anna - Facilitator
>>> David - Present
>>> Stacey - Guardian
>>> Topher - Note-taking
>>>
>>> On Wed, Jul 1, 2020 at 10:13 PM David Ginsburg <dav9dg at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>> 7/1:
>>>> Anna - Guardian
>>>> David - Note-taker
>>>> Stacey - absent
>>>> Topher - Facilitator
>>>>
>>>> WHITE FRAGILITY - Notes
>>>> - overlaps with white exceptionalism ("I'm a good white person")
>>>> - from last time: people tend to focus on the individual but we're
>>>> being asked to look at the system we live in and our role in that
>>>> - people get defensive because they want to be a good person
>>>> - what does white fragility mean to BIPOC? white fragility makes a
>>>> white person an unreliable ally
>>>>    - On tactical basis (not just not the right thing): e.g. can't rely
>>>> on them, have to be wary of what it means emotionally to engage with them
>>>> - part of self dismissing existence of being complicit in systemic
>>>> oppression ("maybe we don't know the context [for a given situation]")
>>>> - what to do when there is an individual who is toxic?
>>>> - parallel to "believe the victim" -> just believe the BIPOC
>>>> - "white people" as shorthand for "the group of people who benefit from
>>>> white privilege"
>>>> - fear of BIPOC because of possibility of fucking up an interaction
>>>> - moderating discussions of racism in a classroom was easier than
>>>> figuring out racism and antiracism in your own social life: the "classroom
>>>> discussion" is a known genre of discussion and involves challenging
>>>> students to confront it but not yourself doing it on a personal level
>>>>   - teacher knows it's their responsibility to play a certain role in
>>>> that context (define your own roles vs having the roles set up for you)
>>>> - "white people": frustrated to be lumped in a group, but it also
>>>> exists!
>>>> - legitimately proud of being a white person by using my whiteness
>>>> (e.g. white privilege, etc.) for good
>>>>   - proud of using this power effectively
>>>> - Dissociate identity to feel less attacked on a personal level
>>>>   - I am a white person vs I have whiteness
>>>>   - I have whiteness
>>>>   - I have whiteness: covers white passing (about how people perceive
>>>> you; it's not personal)
>>>>
>>>> How to become more resilient:
>>>> - Accountability: how to address avoidance?
>>>>   - celebrate wins (e.g. share stories when we were able to have
>>>> mindfulness around defensiveness)
>>>> - Noticing/mindfulness: when feeling a feeling with another person,
>>>> notice having the feeling and deciding what to do with it
>>>>   - would like to notice feeling of defensiveness and decide to calm
>>>> myself, not act, stop & listen, maybe ask questions, don't jump into
>>>> defensiveness
>>>>   - positive reenforcement: celebrate whenever you can do this in small
>>>> ways
>>>> - "Don't be sorry, be better"
>>>>   - be proactive, carve out time to do the right thing
>>>> - What to do about performative allyship? Antidote: *listening*
>>>> without needing to signal wokeness, and *amplify* others
>>>>   - seek out more opportunities to *listen*
>>>> - witnessing/listening/observing regular things (e.g. art, music, joy,
>>>> beauty) from BIPOC sources
>>>> - Be curious! Antidote to nervousness and social anxiety
>>>> - Creating safe space for risky challenges? Risky challenges are not
>>>> safe, but having a circle to process emotions in a safe space can support
>>>> you taking risks
>>>> - Process your emotions! Cry, etc. But don't do it in the moment in a
>>>> burdensome way for BIPOC.
>>>> - Show up as an adult and not a child trying to please (performative
>>>> allyship is childish)
>>>> - Personal development is your own time and space. White fragility has
>>>> impact on BIPOC, so yes you should process your emotions
>>>> - How to use privilege for good? Economic: redirect money to
>>>> black-owned businesses
>>>> - We feel tendencies to step away and not look at this, so what's the
>>>> motivation? What are the benefits for us of addressing our white fragility?
>>>>   - Helps us be more free
>>>>     - Fragility: largely about avoidance and fear. So addressing it
>>>> helps us be more free!
>>>>   - Feel a sense of alienation from BIPOC, so addressing our fragility
>>>> fosters more authentic connection
>>>>   - Want to feel good (source of fragility is not wanting to feel bad),
>>>> so we are defensive, but that feels worse!
>>>> - How can we detach and make it not personal?
>>>>   - Remember that it's about the other person. Curiosity and refocusing
>>>> on how the other person is feeling.
>>>>   - Refocus on the actual problem.
>>>>   - Say "this is not about me"
>>>>
>>>> On Wed, Jun 24, 2020 at 9:57 PM Anna McFall <annasmcfall at gmail.com>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> 6/24:
>>>>> Anna - Note-taker
>>>>> David - Facilitator
>>>>> Stacey - absent
>>>>> Topher - Guardian
>>>>>
>>>>> WHITE PRIVILEGE - Notes
>>>>> - Perfectionism as an attribute of white supremacy, patriarchy,
>>>>> capitalism
>>>>> --> being "called out" hurts more in this framework, and isn't as
>>>>> productive
>>>>> - "I can ignore racial injustice and care for my intimate group of
>>>>> friends, and it's not incongruent."
>>>>> --> Don't have to fight big systems if not Black or brown, if focused
>>>>> on just taking care of loved ones.
>>>>> --> Same set of concerns means something completely different about
>>>>> how you have to engage with systemic issues.
>>>>> - "There's a way you can be authoritative and take care of business
>>>>> without being a fucking asshole!"
>>>>> - Our deep learning models show us our own biases
>>>>> - AND SO MUCH MORE!
>>>>>
>>>>> <333
>>>>>
>>>>> On Wed, Jun 17, 2020 at 9:05 PM Anna McFall <annasmcfall at gmail.com>
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> Next time (6/24):
>>>>>>
>>>>>> To do:
>>>>>> *Day 1 - Reading + journal reflections
>>>>>> *Read appendix section on Circle Way process (if desired)
>>>>>> *Review the two PDFs Saad mentions from the Resources section of
>>>>>> thecircleway.net.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Anna or David (if present) - Facilitator
>>>>>> David
>>>>>> Stacey (if present) - Note-taker (takeaways at the end, any questions
>>>>>> or themes (opt-in notes))
>>>>>> Topher - Guardian
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Wed, Jun 17, 2020 at 5:40 PM Anna McFall <annasmcfall at gmail.com>
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Hi all!  I have a bunch of composition and tiny spiral-bound
>>>>>>> notebooks if you need a journal.  I'll bring them tonight.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> <3
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> On Mon, Jun 15, 2020 at 10:37 AM Anna McFall <annasmcfall at gmail.com>
>>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> I just mean all of Part 1, though we could do Day 1 also, to
>>>>>>>> initiate the structure.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> On Mon, Jun 15, 2020, 9:40 AM Christopher Lin <
>>>>>>>> powertothepenguins at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> Thanks, Anna!
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> 30 pages works for me. Just to be clear, because page numbers are
>>>>>>>>> always wonky for me with ebooks, does that mean all of Part I and some of
>>>>>>>>> Part II, Week 1?
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> On Mon, Jun 15, 2020 at 9:37 AM Anna McFall <annasmcfall at gmail.com>
>>>>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> We've decided to hold up to an hour of book group work after a
>>>>>>>>>> dinner break following our Wednesday evening activism committee meetings.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> We will be starting with *Layla Saad's Me and White Supremacy*,
>>>>>>>>>> a full-length book of guided reflection based on Saad's original 2018
>>>>>>>>>> workbook, which grew out of an instagram challenge she created for white
>>>>>>>>>> folks to reflect on their experiences.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> I'm working on ordering a hard copy of the book for the house; in
>>>>>>>>>> the mean time, I've attached an epub, and you can shoot her some dollars at
>>>>>>>>>> her PayPal below.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> Layla Saad's Paypal <https://www.paypal.me/laylasaad>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> It seems fitting to *read the first part--about 30 pages--before
>>>>>>>>>> our first meeting*.  Does that work?
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> In our first meeting, we can take a look at the structure and
>>>>>>>>>> decide how many "days" we want to do per week.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> <333 Looking forward to this!
>>>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>>>>> chrysalis.activism at moomers.org
>>>>>>>>>> https://mailman.moomers.org/listinfo/chrysalis.activism
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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